Joe Levi:
a cross-discipline, multi-dimensional problem solver who thinks outside the box – but within reality™

Are you a Democrat, Republican, or Constitutionalist?

Are you a Democrat, Republican, or Constitutionalist? Here is a scenario to help you decide.

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock .45, and you are trained in self-defense.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat’s Answer

That’s not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safeties built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound or maim me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? 

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

What would Obama do?

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican’s Answer

“Call 9-1-1!”


Constitutionalist’s Answer

Husband and wife draw their sidearms and scoot the children behind them…


Wife: “DO IT NOW!”

Assailant does not comply.

Husband: BANG! BANG! BANG! … BANG! BANG! BANG! … BANG! BANG! BANG! … BANG! (reloads).

Wife: BANG! BANG! BANG! … BANG! BANG! BANG! … BANG! BANG! BANG! … BANG! (reloads).

Assailant is no longer a threat.

Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or the Federal Hydra-Shock Hollow Points?”

Wife: “I’ll call 9-1-1 and have them send out the coroner.”


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2 Responses

  1. zohner says:

    That is so awesome. I think I’m a Constitutionalist.

  2. Emily says:

    i am a democrat

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